This entry is the one you have been long dreading. Heck, it’s the one I’ve been dreading. I swore to myself I would never write this entry in my public author blog. I would relegate it strictly to my personal journal. This is the entry no one ever wants to see. But I feel like if I don’t write this, if I don’t post it for eyes other than my own, then I am doing a great disservice, not only to myself, but to my country. The entire world.
I’m going to get political.
Now… before you decide to lynch me because my political beliefs may differ from yours, let me first say that I do not plan to sway anyone to any particular candidate. It doesn’t matter that I may not like your team or you don’t like mine. I’m not about further dividing the populace. The people in every political office have done that quite well, in my opinion.
But I am going to say some things that could reveal my stances. And you may not like those stances. You may decide I am not worth your time because our belief systems differ. That is an unfortunate side-effect, and I get it. Still, this must be said.
Here in the United States, the upcoming election is one of the most important in history. There is a sitting president who must convince the populace that he has done a good enough job to warrant an extension of his service. There is an opponent who once held the second-in-command position for eight years who has decided to unseat the president and take his job.
We, the people, must decide who we want to hold that seat of power. We, the people, must choose the future of our country. Do we want things to continue as they are, or do we want a new direction?
Are we going to maintain the status quo of politicians who are more interested in lining their pockets than in serving their constituents? Or are we going to take back the power and demand they serve us?
We have some crucial decisions to make on the ballot, not only for the presidential bid but for seats in Congress. Our state and local governments. Decisions that are going to impact our lives in the immediate and for several years to come.
No matter where you fall on the political spectrum, your voice matters. You need to speak up at the polls. As a citizen of this world, it is your right and your duty to register to vote and then cast that vote. If you feel helpless in the current climate, do something about it and send a message to the people in power. If you don’t like the way some people are doing (or not doing) their jobs in Washington, remove them from that office with the power of your vote. (Or if you think everything is peachy, keep them there.)
As members of my Sunday writing group can attest, I have become very cynical of politics. There is so much in that world that is “business as usual,” which amounts to the rich getting richer and the poor getting shafted. I admit I do not pay as close attention as I should, because when I think about it, I get angry. Why should rich people who don’t know what it means to struggle get to decide the fates of the rest of us? Why do they get to cut social programs like Food Stamps to fund a military whom they then deploy to act as bullies against the rest of the world? Why is the president of United States acting like this is the greatest country in the world, when so many families suffer from hunger on a daily basis? Where is the compassion? Where is the justice?
There are parts of the world where voting is not a thing. The ruling body is in power, and nothing the people say or do is going to change that. You, however, as a citizen of the free world (and I’m not just speaking to Americans here) are not in that position. Your country has elections. You get to choose who makes the decisions, who makes the laws. You get to stand up and say, “THIS is what I want! This is how I feel. This is how I should be governed.”
The other thing on this subject I want to mention is that my roommate encountered something startling this weekend. She saw a report somewhere that said people were being removed from the voter registry. I went looking for it to link it here, but the closest I was able to find was an NPR report from late December 2019. I did, however, see some state-specific articles floating around from earlier this year.
I don’t know if this is the conspiracy some claim it is. What I do know is that my roommate said she checked her own status and found that she had been purged from the California registry. (I have no reason to doubt her. She is many things, but a liar is not among them.) She immediately submitted a new voter registration form.
When she told me this story, I immediately checked my own status. I am fortunately still registered to vote in the state of California. And believe you me that I will be casting that vote in the 2020 elections.
As a random writer from the internet you don’t know, I beg of you: If you live in a place in the world that holds elections, YOU MUST VOTE. You must make your voice heard. Even if you end up outnumbered, at least you have made a difference and told the people in charge what you think and believe.
If you do not do this, if you do not vote… you are part of the problem.
WRITING IN PUBLIC
(Seems rather minor in the face of the main segment, but let’s go ahead and dive in anyway, shall we?)
**WARNING**
This segment contains what I lovingly refer to as “more honesty than you want in a random writer on the internet.” Most people I know don’t go to an author website looking for the ins and outs of that writer’s process. They certainly don’t go there to uncover the deep psychoses of that writer. So I will try — keyword there — not to get too deep and personal. Otherwise, I will need to relegate this to my personal journal and just tell you everything is fine, dandy, hunky and dory.
It seems that I have hit yet another blockade in my quest for what to write next. I still want to write the book for that cover I bought — it has just shifted several times since coming up with the initial idea.
The cover, to put it mildly, is bloody and conveys a sense of death and/or dread that the original story idea just doesn’t have until the end. At its core, it’s a love story between members of two feuding families. Which, in the end, means everyone has to die.
The story does not equal the cover, so it needs to be reworked.
When talking to my friend Angie* (sorry — you know I can never resist plugging her books when I mention her), she inadvertently gave me the idea to make it a decade-spanning tale with murder and gore throughout. I liked it and started to run with it.
Until I didn’t. I realized I could not carry the story over the course of an entire decade. I’m just not wired that way. At best, I can do a story that lasts a month. And even then… well, let’s just say my tales need to run their courses much quicker than that.
Then my brain came up with a nice twist: What if the lovers were both serial killers targeting the other’s family? (i.e. Roman is killing Campbells and Julie is killing Montgomerys… and neither knows the other is doing it.) I ran with that for a few days until it became Mr. and Mrs. Smith in my head.
And now I’m back to some mix. I honestly want the lovebirds to be anti-feud and yanked unwillingly into the fight. I even have a confrontation in my brain of Roman’s father yelling at his son that he could have had everything but he threw it away over that *bleep*ing Campbell girl.
In the gaming world, this kind of thing, where you’re torn between a lot of different choices, is called “analysis paralysis.” You are stunned into doing nothing on the basis of having so many options. In the writing world, people try to call this “writer’s block.”
Here’s the thing, though. This isn’t genuine writer’s block. It’s avoidance. As I’ve said in a Goodreads Q&A, I am not entirely convinced writer’s block is actually a thing. Even when I experience it, I know exactly what it really is, just not always how to combat it.
For me, this is a case of writing something with the intention to put it out in the world. When I was a non-selling author, that was easy. No one will ever buy my books, so no big deal that my writing is terrible.
But now people have bought my books. Not many people, but enough that I feel like I’ve cheated them. I’m a con artist. “Buy this book that looks amazing based on the cover, when in truth it’s a piece of crap.”
I sit down to write this book, knowing at least two or three people will likely buy it, and my brain says, “Make this one good.” And I know I can’t… because I’m not.
The truth is, once the first sentence finally comes out and I’m off to the races, none of these mental gymnastics will matter. I will write the crappy book and slap this amazing cover on it. The con will begin anew.
Then, when I start the next one with the intent to publish, I will feel that guilt again and you may or may not see this blog entry all over again.
We’ll see what happens.
GAMING THINGS
The wonderful news on the gaming front is that the holdout from our monthly group agreed to join us in the virtual space, so we have gotten to play two scenarios of our regular Pathfinder Adventure Card Game campaign, Rise of the Runelords! It was weird, to be honest, because it has been so long since I’ve been the healer. But Valeros still kicked butt all over Golareon (or however that world is spelled), and Ezren needs no one’s help zapping all manner of beasties. I honestly have mixed feelings about this group of characters sometimes. I love them to pieces, of course, but I have moments where I feel we are completely overpowered. Especially Ezren and Valeros. At least Lem and Kyra have to struggle against monsters. (Of course, my main purpose feels like it is to make sure people don’t die.)
Both sessions, we started late enough that Pathfinder was the only game we could play, but I’m fine with that. I loves me my Pathfinder.
So much, in fact, that I cracked open my Skull & Shackles box to set up my solo game in that virtual space. Oddly, I have not played any scenarios yet. It’s nice to know I have the option, though.
On the physical gaming front, Fantasy Flight Games reprinted the out-of-stock Marvel Champions decks I was unable to get from my local store, so I got them online from Barnes & Noble. I now have Ms. Marvel and Thor, and I should have Black Widow fairly soon. No idea when we’ll get to play the physical games again, but I am very glad I have them, so if the Steam Workshop ends up with those packs I can play them without guilt.
I still need to get (they still need to release?) Doctor Strange and Hulk, and then… the Campaign Expansion: Rise of the Red Skull! That one will have a playable Spider-Woman (currently a signature ally for… I think Captain Marvel?) and Hawkeye (currently a Leadership ally card). I only bring up the allies because you can only have ONE unique card in play at a given time, so anyone playing Captain Marvel (or She-Hulk — whichever has Spider-Woman) will never be able to play that ally if Spider-Woman is one of the player characters. Same with the Leadership Hawkeye and Aggression Hulk. (I think Black Widow is also an ally card somewhere.) They also put Iron Man (playable base game character) as an ally in a hero pack at one point. I think the goal is to make the game as complicated and confusing as they can, because that is the nature of a Living Card Game.
Or they just want all of these characters available at all times in one form or another.
FFG has also announced the Scenario Pack that will come after the campaign expansion: It’s a Kang the Conqueror pack that’s going to add yet another wrinkle into how the game is played. Really looking forward to playing more of this game. So far we have only ever gone up against the Rhino, with mixed success.
(If we needed still more proof that my group is a bunch of Filthy Casuals™, Rhino is considered SUPER EASY MODE in this game… and we lost to him twice before we finally beat him in that duo game a couple months back.)
WRAPPING UP
I feel like this entry should end with some apologies. Not only did it get political (something I vowed to myself would never happen), but I also dove deep into my psyche and spilled out all of my insecurities when it comes to writing.
This is what I signed on for when I started this blog. I don’t know if it’s what you signed on for when you started reading.
I’m sure the next entry will be back to frivolity and non sequitur. Unless it isn’t.
Stay healthy. Stay safe. Stay sane. Wash your hands. Cover your face when you leave the abode.
Do something fun.
And be happy.